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Tad Ghostal Gone Postal

May 1, 2012

Don’t ask me; there was just something funny about seeing Space Ghost zap Zorak with his destructo ray on Coast to Coast and especially Cartoon Planet. It became a running gag, and almost the high point of the show. Space Ghost had basically been made into a dopey talk show host on these shows, with Zorak, a villain from the original cartoon, grudgingly there as one of his prisoners; being cynical, and always dissing Space Ghost. So eventually he crosses a line where SG retaliates. Then, you have fan-mail readings where they ask him to blast Zorak. So this pun just came to my mind. It was so obvious. SG quite literally “goes postal on him!

Here’s another idea I had. I would love to see a similar setup done with Ed, Edd & Eddy. Call it “Edtoon Planet”! Eddy, the frustrated leader would fill Space Ghost’s role as the frustrated host, with the similarly cynical Kevin in Zorak’s place. Couldn’t you just imagine big, doofy Ed singing all of Brak’s silly songs, such as “What Day is It?”, and “I Love Beans”? Those three characters would fit perfectly. Brainy Edd could be the technician (Moltar, though he was usually on Coast to Coast, not Cartoon Planet). He could also be Lokar, who also appeared occasionally on Coast to Coast, and was changed into this bookish type character, almost like Edd. I could see Sarah filling in Zorak’s place on some songs such as “What Day is It” instead of Kevin. (“…is it Monday? No!, Tuesday? NO!…”, etc.) Maybe the others could be the “Council of Doom”? Eddy would then get to “zap” Kevin with something. Perhaps those water shooters Edd designed for a battle with the Kankers, once. That would be good!

In any case, 2012 has seen the rebirth of the venue, with new Cartoon Planets! These simply feature Brak and Zorak hosting old “Cartoon-Cartoons”. I think Brak might do a skit inbetween.

  1. Might as well put up this idea I had for a Cartoon Planet skit (basically associated with Mail Bag Day). I always wanted to see this produced, and though they’ve revived Cartoon Planet for over a year and a half, Space Ghost (George Lowe) has been dropped, and it is just Brak and Zorak hosting cartoons, with some new short skits with the two of them.

    “Brak Zorak Brak”

    Z[in mailroom] I’m sick of all those letters asking Space Ghost to zap me. They never ask him to zap goody goody Brak. Well, I’m going to add a few letters of my own
    S [on regular set] OK, it’s mail time. Let’s see how many people ask me to zap Zorak today
    S [reading] “Dear Space Ghost; how about something different today– let’s see you zap Brak for a change”
    S Well, Brak, it looks like it’s your turn for once
    B But we’ve discussed this before–you can’t zap me
    S Oh, you’re right, I can’t zap you. –But wait a minute; I have zapped you; a couple of times in fact!
    B But that was on the other show
    S Oh.
    B See, on the other show, they used more frames of me, so they could show me explode, and all burnt up. On my new show, they have even more animation of me, but you’re not there to zap me.
    S Tht’s right, I guess. Here on this show, they were on a reduced budget, so I guess I can’t zap you here.
    Z Hey, what is this, animation school? Zap him here!
    S You keep out of this; I don’t have to zap him here; isn’t that right Brak?
    B Yeah, you don’t have to zap him here
    S [to Brak] that’s right, I don’t have to zap him here
    Z yes you do have to zap me here– I demand that you zap me here!
    S Oh, well, in that case
    Z [toasted] You’re a dirty dork!
    B And you’re a dirty jerk head!
    Z ME? I’m a dirty jerk head? I’m a dirty jerk head?
    Z You hear that? I’m a dirty jerk head!
    S enough of this! Back to the mail!
    S “Dear Space Ghost, my friends are all dirty jerk heads. I hate dirty jerk heads–will you zap one for me today”, signed_________
    S Well what a coincidence; we just happen to have a self-professed ‘dirty jerk head’ right here!
    Z brother, am I a pigeon!
    S That reminds me– next letter: “Dear Space Ghost; Drat and double drat! I’ve been trying to catch that sagga fragga raggan pigeon for years! Will you zap him for me”, signed Dick Dastardly
    S Oh, this must be our lucky day; we also have a pigeon right here
    Z [fist waving pose] IF I FALL FOR THAT AGAIN, I’LL BE A MONKEY’S UNCLE!!!
    Z Uh-oh, never mind
    S Don’t worry, Zorak; this next one is for you
    S “Dear Zorak, I know how much you hate that stupid monkey of Space Ghost’s; I wish he would zap him and his whole family!”, signed ______
    S Well, ______, that monkey may not be here, but a certain member of his family is
    Z mother!
    Z [toasted] Uhh….I think what we need… is some briefing
    Z OK, let’s start from the beginning: Who are you?
    S [heroic muscle flexing pose] Why I’m Space Ghost!
    Z and who did that first letter ask you to zap?
    S Brak
    B but he can’t zap me here
    Z OH, I’m just trying to see if he knows what to do!
    S well since I can’t zap him, maybe I could practice on someone else
    Z yeah, that’s a good idea. So then… if I were him, what would you do?
    S well, I’d do this–ZAP-POW!
    Z [toasted] uhh… I don’t get it. Maybe he’s not as dumb as he looks
    S well, HA! he seems to be a lot smarter than you!
    Z [standing] SMART? SMART? [fist waving] WELL, IF HE’S SMART, THEN I’M A MONGOOSE!!!
    S “Oh, there’s something in here about mongooses too–
    S “Dear Space Ghost, IT’S MONGOOSE SEASON!” signed “that wascally wabbit”
    ZAP POW!
    S more briefing?
    Z [toasted] More briefing!
    Z now, you got that? You’re not going to pay no more attention to no more letters; you’re only going to listen to me
    S right!
    B [speaking to audience] …and I can do impressions too; look:
    B [crude Lokar disguise, and voice imitation] You serendipitous sods…[etc]
    Z so…that’s his game!
    [SG aims at Z]
    Z [toasted] We’ve been through this before; I am NOT a locust, I’m a mantis!
    S Oh, no, this was never quite resolved. I distinctly remember you calling yourself “The lone locust of the apocalypse” once
    Z Oh, whatever!
    Z now let’s try this once again– Now Space Ghost, you can shoot him here
    S no I do not have to shoot him here
    B Yeah, you don’t have to shoot him here
    S Oh, no you don’t. You’re getting things mixed up; It’s not “You don’t have to shoot him here”, It’s “You don’t have to shoot ME here”. WELL I SAY YOU DO HAVE TO SHOOT ME HERE, SO SHOOT ME HERE!
    Z [regenerated] No, one more time! I say shoot him here!
    S But I can’t shoot him here
    B Yeah, he can’t shoot him here
    S yeah, that’s right Brak, I can’t shoot him here
    Z You think I’m going to fall for that again? Well then, just wait till you get to the other show!
    S All righty
    [SGC2C oopening sequence (flight into Ghost Planet Industries) plays]
    S (on C2C set) Greetings, Earth fans; I’m Space Ghost! [immediately turns to Z] ZAP–POW!
    Moltar [viewing toasted Z on his monitor] Beats me what goes on around here!
    [back on CP set]
    Z well, you two think you’re so smart, well I have another letter here which says “Zap Brak”!
    B And I have another one that says “Zap Zorak”!
    [letters instantly flash on screen as they are read–like “Duck season/rabbit season signs)]:
    Z “ZAP BRAK”
    Z “ZAP BRAK”
    [a different letter appears; “A Hunting We Will Go” reference from “Rabbit Fire” plays]
    Z “Dear Brak and Zorak; we have had enough of this nonsense; here are a couple of weapons, go and ZAP SPACE GHOST!”
    S Uh, Oh; gotta go, [WHOOSH] [flies off just as laser shots zip by]
    [Z, B, stalking in hunter costumes with laser rifles; “A Hunting We Will Go” slow score plays]
    Z [talks like Elmer] Be vwy, vewwy quiet. We’re hunting Space Ghosts!
    B [laughs like Elmer] heheheheheheheh!

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